What's next?

Before I get into the details about the 9 day long Carnival here in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, and my friend Tristan's visit... I just have to say, that I have the travel bug - Even while I sit here in Spain... But I can't for the life of me pin point just a few places I want to go with the limited time and lack of money I have to do it with. I want to go everywhere! I want to see it all. I want to take my own photos and make my own memories, EVERYWHERE. Coming to Tenerife and becoming an Au Pair was the best thing I've ever done because it literally broke me out of my shell. Yet, on the other hand it's also possibly the worst thing I could have done because it has unleashed something inside me, and I really want to see the world now that I've gotten a taste of it.

The last few days I've been thinking alot about what I want out of this experience, and what I'm going to do when I go home... and honestly as terrifying as traveling alone sounds to me, I think that's what I need to do to find out who I am and what I want. I think some people have the ability to travel alone with no problems or doubts, and I am so envious of that... then there are people like me who are awful at making decisions or plans and really like having a companion to do things with, which I don't think is a bad thing, but maybe before they find that right companion they do need to do things on their own first? I've always imagined myself finding an adventurous husband to team up and travel the world with... maybe have a couple kids, raise them right, go on family vacations, and then retire from our somewhat awesome careers and travel more. So now that this unattainable fire has been lit inside me I'm beginning to realize in order to make that happen, I have to be someone that adventurous husband will want to marry. Someone passionate, someone confident, someone in love with life and everything the world has to offer.

And, obviously waiting for this imaginary husband to travel with hasn't gotten me anywhere anyways. So, here I am. Making plans.

I'm as inexperienced as a traveler could possibly be, but, I'm going to figure it out.

<3